Spoiler Alert: Much to my dismay, Bruce Willis does not get shot in this scene, which means, yes, there will probably be a Die Hard 6. God help us.
The fact that I’m actually taking the time to write a post on this movie will probably misconstrue the perception that I actually have a life. But, the way I see it, if the remarkable talents of screenwriter Skip Woods, who is also responsible for such modern day classics as X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Hitman, Swordfish, and Thursday (please, tell me you understand sarcasm), can get away with penning such stupidity than, goddamn it, so can I.
With that being said, I hope you enjoy my review of the latest Die Hard, which, as you will soon find out, was thrown together in the same half-assed fashion of the movie its criticising. Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, the one star, as opposed to a paper star, is for the one long throwaway scene near the beginning of the movie where a Russian cabbie sings Sinatra. Gotta love ol’ Blue Eyes.
A Good Day to Die Hard, or
A Good Day to Watch Bruce Willis Sleepwalk Through a Role, or
A Good Day to Further Mar, Dilute, and Remove Itself From the Awesomeness That is the Original Die Hard (1988), or
A Good Day to Release an Action Franchise Movie Before its Real competition (Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, even Fast & Furious 6) Come Out in the Summer, or
A Good Way to Steal A Title That Would Be Better Suited For The Biopic of a Male Porn Star, or
A Good Day to Ask Ourselves Why It is That Talented Directors Like That of John Moore Can Continue To Easily Find Work in Hollywood When Far Less and Unoriginal Scriptwriters/Directors Like That Hack Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Blood, The Master, Boogie Nights) Continue To Struggle As Much As They Do When Trying To Get A Project Off the Ground (Please, please, please tell me you understand sarcasm), or
A Good Day to Suck It, or…
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